Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
