I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
