I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
