I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
