haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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