I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize