My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
