this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize