This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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