you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
