I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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