Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
