All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
