Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize