he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
