Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
worst night to have a conscience
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
