Well douche your snatch and let's go!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize