I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
