i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
