Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
