Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
