worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize