i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
