I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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