I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up under a house in Key West
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