haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
