Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
as a side note pls kill me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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