He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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