Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
