im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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