Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that's an acceptable place to lick
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
