did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
