just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize