eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
