we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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