I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
