I just cut my nipple shaving
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
