i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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