How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
