I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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