How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
