you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
