I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
