She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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