He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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