You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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