I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
