Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
