Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
