On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
