The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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