I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
