i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
