I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize