Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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