can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize