Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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