i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
