i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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