...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
