Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
