Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize